I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
And then he peed in my hair
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
