does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You ruined the universe
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
