your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Randomize
