Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
