Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
