is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm passing your future prison.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize