What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
The best revenge is premature balding
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
