Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
they need to just BURY HIM!
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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