Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
