Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
