I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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