You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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