I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Terrible idea I love it
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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