oh god the rape fog is back!
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Randomize
