WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
