youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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