I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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