Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize