Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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