If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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