The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Never underestimate the power of titties
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
