What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He felt like a one man threesome
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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