Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
