It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
