Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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