You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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