You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
