He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
it glows. i had to have it.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize