Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
