i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
