The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Randomize
