hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
