I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
