Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize