No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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