I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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