i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
