He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
