How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize