Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
