Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Randomize
