we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
