Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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