If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
