You really coming over, don't trick.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize