She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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