he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
This is my gift to your gina
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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