I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
