I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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