I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
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