make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
