So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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