...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
