Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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