just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
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