i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
