I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
How's work?
Spinning.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
