My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
