i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
