Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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