an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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