If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
